I feel unspeakably lonely. And I feel - drained. It is a blank state of mind and soul I cannot describe to you as I think it would not make any difference. Also it is a very private feeling I have - that of melting into a perpetual nervous breakdown. I am often questioning myself what I further want to do, who I further wish to be; which parts of me, exactly, are still functioning properly. No answers, darling. At all.
Anne Sexton (via outcamethesun)
(Source: clairvoyant---disease, via outcamethesun)
Your sentimentality softens all the edges, you’re misremembering. Take a moment to recall it as it really was: fucking hell.
Miranda July (via thisisabsolute)
And though I have done many shameful things, I am not ashamed of who I am. I am not ashamed of who I am because I know who I am. I have tried to rip myself open and expose everything inside - accepting my weaknesses and strengths - not trying to be anyone else. ‘Cause that never works, does it?
So my challenge is to be authentic. And I believe I am today. I believe I am.
Nic Sheff (via tristensierra)
if only temper-tantrums were acceptable for adults.
You, my friend, are unpredictable. You are a force to be reckoned with. Don’t let fear rob you of who you could be.
I believe that the most important spiritual principle of AA is humility. The recognition that we are flawed, that we can and must change and that our purpose not only in sobriety but in life is to be of service to others.
I believe that I exist at random, but I do not exist alone; and that as long as my quarks cohere, my entire function on this hurtling planet is to give what I can to the other extant things.
Marya Hornbacher (via thebonepalaceballet)
I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes. That was exactly it, and I couldn’t understand why the happiness never came, couldn’t see the flaw in my thinking, couldn’t see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis. I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again. And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn’t made me feel good in years.
Heather King, Parched (via 2000milesfromhere)